Journals

107. Six References – Journal Entry 6th Nov 1982

After receiving a stern notice from the Repco finance company, I sent them a letter scolding them for failing to answer whether the September payment was the last. I would not have bothered writing to them if Monika and I had not been in contact with a Rocky finance company. Nasty, nasty. The motives for going there are not laudable, almost foolish in fact, to three out of the four of us involved. Marcello insisted he needed the car. He will be paying nearly double because of such high-interest rates. Anyway, Johnny went to sign papers as guarantor; the moneylenders had him (and me) pledge the to-be-purchased car, as well as our poor little moke, as security. They required details of registration, checked credit ratings and then took signatures. Monika and I went in to their office yesterday to add our signatures to the forms.
It didn’t go as smoothly as planned.
“Now, Rita-the-young-pup,” began Phil, “we require some references…”
“Oh,” I said, “you didn’t mention this to me over the phone yesterday!”
“No,” he said slowly.
“Why not?” I asked.
Phil looked surprised, quite taken aback and either mumbled he forgot or that he assumed we would sort it out in the morning.
“You omitted to mention it,” I interrupted him.
“Yes…” he said, a little flustered. I felt a bit bad that he assumed “omitted” meant “forgot”. I didn’t push the point. Nevertheless, he expected me to give the names of six friends or relatives.
I felt very uneasy about giving the names and phone numbers of our good friends without asking them first. Phil assured me that it was company policy, that the references were for the files only and that it was because Johnny had been short on time yesterday. I started to write out a few names on a scrap of paper, the feeling of unease increasing with each name until Monika suddenly asked if she would have to do the same thing.
“Oh yes,” nods Phil.
Well, that was the final outrage.
“We will have to consider this,” I said standing up, pushing the papers into my bag and walking out of Phil’s office.
Monika agreed wholeheartedly—she could not produce six names.
“Stuff them,” we said rudely outside, they are losing business and we are well out of it. Fortunately, Marcello agreed with us, although he is still determined to seek a loan elsewhere.


Gareth went camping with Kent and another lad called Dennis. I rang Del to find out if Gareth had come back, but he hadn’t returned when he said he would. I asked her if Kent had started his difficult period. That started about thirteen and a half years ago she laughed. Del expressed concern that the boys did not sleep well when camping out and was amused at Kent’s assumption that she would have food ready for their camping trip when she didn’t know about it.

106. The Allure of Romance Novels – Journal Entry 3rd Nov 1982

Dear Nora, 

Please forgive my delay; it’s been almost a week since I received your letter. Life is at its busiest right now.

In response to your three queries: Firstly, mum would prefer the lesser of the two prices quoted and will contribute half. Would you like us to keep the $150 (1500 rupees) here for you or would you want us to send a bank transfer in rupees? Secondly, come whenever you can. It does seem inadvisable for you and Henry to be away at the same time. Henry would be very welcome here anytime if he wishes to make a trip on his own. Finally, the road trip from Sydney to Rockhampton takes two nights and one day. It would cost say $100 (1000 rupees) without food. 

I would suggest you book Madras to Brisbane and Brisbane to Madras with an option to leave from Melbourne. Mum will buy you a plane ticket from Brisbane to Rocky when we know definite dates. Once you are here, we will book your Rocky to Brisbane or Rocky to Melbourne flight. The same arrangement could be used by Henry, of course. If you can raise the fare to Australia, we will look after you here.

Perhaps Mary can advise you on what to pack. You can borrow warm clothes from mum as I am sure you wouldn’t care for mine! If you are thinking of buying small presents for the folks here, may I delicately suggest that it would not be necessary as many Indian things are available here. I do agree you should pack as lightly as you can and remember, no seeds, rawhide leather, skins, plants or flowers are allowed into Australia.

I am posting this letter today as we have to go and withdraw mum’s money at the Post Office and I’m cashing the child endowment cheque too. I look forward to hearing about your plans!

4th November 1982

Today, Mum is off on a pensioners’ bus trip.

While dropping Barbara at the bus stop, I started thinking about Mills and Boon romance novels. Written by females, for female consumption, these novels are quite lucrative.  Nevertheless, educated women don’t seem to read them, and not all uneducated women read them either. Young girls, married women and old ladies read romance novels and have done so for nearly two-hundred years, according to a recent article of dubious scholarship. There are strict rules: passionate kissing and retaining one’s honour are allowed but rarely (in fact never) is fondling of the breasts or (god forbid) any touching below the waist. Sexual intercourse, and a certain amount of fondling, is now included within a particular subset of these novels. 

The heroine is usually independent and beautiful, with a sense of humour, honest and passionate. The men tend to be tall, handsome and quite ardent. They are often very wealthy farmers with large estates. Initially, there is antagonism and distrust, explained later as a ploy to fight against their mutual attraction. The main characters endure many incidents, working together in crises until eventually they can’t help but admire and respect one another. Usually, there is another male and female who delay our happy couple from finding true love. Finally, they come together and, as in fairy tales, live happily ever after.

The article in the Weekend Australian says that women’s taste for these novels indicates their interest in sex and, according to a Kinsey Report of the 1950s, more women were turned on by hardcore pornography than men. 

Off the cuff reply to that—from what one gathers after reading romantic novels, such as Jane Eyre, is that women want to feel powerful in the sense that the man wants her, and only her and that she can make him completely happy. On the other hand, only he can cause her to succumb and revel in her femaleness: burying his face in her beautiful hair and saying things like, “you elf-creature, what magic have you bound me with?” I’m not sure how explicitly the sexual act comes into it, not very I suspect unless the man is skilful enough to give her pleasure, intense pleasure at that. It seems that the sexual act is a vague part of the passionate kissing in a tight embrace.

We should keep in mind, I suppose, that these novels portray characters who are larger than life. The women are more beautiful,  competent, faithful and courageous than the female reader. The hero is handsome, humorous, wildly passionate but not out of control, and articulate enough to say most of the things women want to hear. He does not go off to the pub drinking with his mates. There is more than enough delightful concentration on the lucky couple; their preoccupation with one another would satisfy most female readers. However, what women read and what they want in real life might be two different things. How does one find that out?

105. Passionfruit Meringue – Journal Entry 12th Oct 1982

Johnny leaves for Brisbane at noon. We spent a delightful evening together last night. When Claire rang to thank us for JB’s birthday dinner, cooked by Johnny, I spoke tentatively of JB; he had not been his usual outgoing self. Although we have known him for over fourteen years, Johnny and I still have no idea what JB feels or in what way we can help. Since he and Claire are also having relationship problems, their troubles have multiplied. Johnny and I are desperately busy to be of much use, but if we have them over for Sunday dinner, it will revive all of us. We enjoy their company and need a break too. 

Now, back to Cost Accounting, I am quite far behind. I am getting confused between applied debt and budgeting, especially the information used to calculate the total budget. I don’t have much time because the assignment is due. What a rare luxury it is to be able to study for a whole day.

14th October 1982

Later today, Monika, the kids and I plan to go to the beach while mum is at her clinic appointment; our dinner of liver, eggs and noodles will take relatively little preparation. We’ll have passionfruit meringue and passionfruit jelly for pudding.

Nathaniel and I had enjoyed our breakfast on the lawn early in the morning. After gardening for half an hour and cleaning the bathroom, I have settled down to my studies. It is still relatively early. Nathaniel has been in and out of the little room and seems half-asleep and uncooperative, but wanting further contact. He started on one puzzle while I set out two more. Suddenly, his shoulders slumped. Overwhelmed, Nathaniel complained he couldn’t do them. After dumping out the pieces I had started putting back into the boxes and refusing to help put the puzzles away, he was sent out of the room.  After crying for a short while on the couch, he went in search of his mother.

19th October 1982

I telephoned Helen Douglas about having Barbara stay at home for the next two days. She mentioned that Graham King was annoyed that parents were told of possible transfers to Quay Street before he had officially informed them. She was so helpful and offered to send Barbara with Mrs Jeffrey to assist with her swimming class on Fridays. I also let Young’s bus service know that Barbara would not be on the bus today or tomorrow. After cleaning the laundry wall, I phoned the RACQ regarding the towing bill and Yeppoon High about their Cleanathon. I’ve organised a few jobs for Barbara to keep her busy when she is not resting: move mango leaf mulch onto the plants, hose the garden, and brush soap and oil onto the lemon tree. Barbara is presently in front of the television.

Last night Gareth was quite upset after a phone call from a friend—Denis rang to say his family were leaving that night. My mood became rather gloomy after Johnny pointed out that I was spending too much time on Methodology and not enough time on Programming; that the course was about computing, not methodology. He was concerned about the poor effort Gareth and I put into our studies and wondered what we could do about it. We both went to bed quiet and somewhat distant. This morning was the same. I had discovered more gloomy news: several large bills had accumulated and now I must do a bank reconciliation.

20th October 1982

Nasty, nasty, nasty. Johnny tells me I should not go to the Yeppoon Town Planning Conference as I am not yet in control of my studies. I think I ought to go because our  subcommittee of Emu Park ratepayers did a lot of work on the Livingstone Shire Strategic Plan. Also, this would be the perfect opportunity to meet some of the more active members of the Yeppoon community interested in town planning, in particular along the Capricorn Coast, and to gauge what the interest is. I wonder how many people from Emu Park will be there?

Is Johnny right? Well, yes, he is, because my track record on subjects taken so far, sadly, is not good. Most other activities seem to take higher priority than my studies. However, I would enjoy the conference because it would be stimulating and thought-provoking. The last two enjoyable outings for me were the methodology tutorial for external students and the town planning meetings in Emu Park; I cannot, at the moment, recall any other times.

My head hurts with tension. One feels worthless, hopeless and frustrated.
Shit.

104. It’s a fair mongrel! – Journal Entry 24th Sep 1982

I had a wonderful break on the beach yesterday. It was so relaxing to lie in the hot sun, talk, eat and look around at the calm blue sea; the beach sprinkled with people. Even a surf fisherman was up to his knees in foam.

I wonder if anyone would run a second-hand bookshop in Emu Park, together with a book exchange? Might be worth pursuing.

Karen rang to thank the family for their presents. She had an excellent day with many of her friends wishing her for her birthday.

Today I must: finish cost accounting exercises; finish methodology chapter five; make dinner of fish baked in tomato and lemon, served with carrots, followed by mulberries and custard for pudding; go to the post office; buy tomatoes and more vegetables.

Mum and I strolled down to the post office and bought a crab for our lunch.

27th September 1982

Had to chase members of the family for most of the morning; it was one of those mornings where everyone needed reminding about something. It seems like a lifetime has passed since I woke up at 5 am. 

29th September 1982

Panic! Panic! September is almost over. The semester is almost over. And yet I do not have firm control of my subjects. While Karen and Gareth are not here, I shall do as much study as possible. Barbara, who is home for the next two weeks, will need extra attention. She informed me of her break when she returned home from the Activity Training Centre.

Why do I feel hassled? Stop it! It’s a lovely morning. There are plenty of opportunities to catch up and get ahead. I have already written the shopping list, had my breakfast and exercised. Johnny has very kindly done the Yeppoon run while I have been scattering grapeshot for the past few days. Johnny warned me of it. Someday I should record my gaffes.

In the meantime, dinner preparations are about to begin for Bavarian meatballs, rice, pumpkin and a capsicum and bean salad. We shall have freshly picked pawpaw for pudding.

2nd October 1982

Yesterday was special. Students of Methodology spent a whole day at the Institute in discussion with our teacher P. Galle. He is such a skilled teacher; we were privileged to have him hold the session for the seven of us; it was of great benefit.

Gareth cooked dinner. It was delicious. My date with Johnny that night, a truly wonderful one,  began with Löwenbräu München and crisps. Johnny dropped off to sleep at around 11 pm. I slipped away to join mum and Marcello. We watched the Commonwealth Games into the early hours of the morning.

3rd October 1982

After breakfast this morning, I made Johnny a cut lunch. He has to go to Rocky for a tutorial with a group of external third-year students.

Today I will be making a cake for the Bowling club which mum must be able to carry since I don’t have a car. Apart from the usual housework and study, I will prepare dinner—hamburgers and chocolate cake.

Here’s an interesting snippet: heard a comment by a driver in the Hardie Ferodo race comment on his view of the road. He said, “It’s a fair mongrel!”

4th October 1982

The game is on! Only six weeks to go before the exams and a great deal of study remains. Tomorrow I must pay the bank card, pickup Melleril for Barbara, remind Marcello to get chops or sausages, drive the family to the beach at 11 am, take mum bowling and drop off bottles at St Vincent.

These days I only seem to manage a few quick paragraphs in the diary.

8th October 1982

The heavy teaching workload for Johnny is now worse. Five out of thirteen teachers remain. Three or four subjects are to be distributed among the remaining teachers for the next two weeks—on top of their already very full loads.

To back Johnny up over the next year, I must get on top of my studies, run the house efficiently and earn a living. If I can contribute to the family finances, it will lighten his load.

More pressing right now is to keep Barbara busy until lunchtime. She is recovering somewhat from her withdrawal and is already talking about lunch. It is only 10:40 am.

103. Zilzie Beach – Journal Entry 16th Sep 1982

Toby and I plan to go for a long walk along Zilzie Beach on Thursday. I telephoned the newsagency about the advertisement and Woodworking magazine. I really must get my program working, telephone Johnny for hard copies, pay bills and work on cost accounting, otherwise the progress I’ve made this week will be lost.

18th September 1982

I make endless lists and schedules. The next three weeks will be very busy. Karen will only be home on 25 & 26 Sep so I’ll need to send her presents earlier, Gareth will be camping between 26-28 Sep and Barbara is now home for 2 weeks. Other jobs: cook for the wedding on 28 Sep, organise our Rocky day on 1 Oct, pick up books on woodworking machines and finally plan my study, specifically to finish methodology and cost accounting on time…oh and organise the roosters to be killed.

19th September 1982

Dear Nora,

We were wondering whether you will be visiting us in December? Mum seems to think you will be, but could you please let us know what your plans are? By the way, the international airport for Queensland is in Brisbane.

Mum also wanted to know about dad’s grave and how much money was involved—we didn’t get an answer about it.

At the risk of upsetting you, I would like to add my advice to M’s, that perhaps you should become very skilled in shorthand typing instead of pursuing a B.A.? The Indian B.A. is not worth much and as you know M has to do 80% of the Australian B.A. to get a recognisable degree. Shorthand, typing, bookkeeping and accounting are skills that could get you somewhere. Once you’ve acquired those basic skills, there is no reason you couldn’t just go onto the B.A. course. Unless you take extra units in a particular area such as social welfare, a diploma in teaching or computing to specialise, B.A. holders can usually get a clerical job.

20th September 1982

Read two articles in the Australian Women’s Weekly today. The first article provided advice on coping with arthritis: keeping cheerful, being well-rested and having confidence in oneself. The second article stressed the importance of keeping level-headed under pressure or when facing a crisis.

Tonight we will have Kofta curry, dhal with greens, onions in yoghurt and fried brinjal. After that we can have orange salad or maybe a whole orange each. 

Managed to finish William Golding’s Rites of Passage—such an unusual plot with highly polished and professional writing. Spent two hours typing Karen’s assignment to avoid my cost accounting and programming.

21st September 1982

I woke up this morning feeling nauseous. My back felt sore too. Nevertheless, I must bake chocolate cakes this afternoon. Fortunately, tonight’s dinner will require very little preparation: noodles with prawns, omelette strips, kabanas and vegetables from the garden. After I sort out my study schedule, I’ll ring Yeppoon High.

23rd September 1982

Very interesting extract from a letter by Thomas Gray to his friend Mr Bonstetten, Cambridge, April 12, 1770:

I must cite another Greek writer to you, because it is much to my purpose: he is describing the character of a genius truly inclined to philosophy: “It includes,” he says, “qualifications rarely united in one single mind, quickness of apprehension, and a retentive memory, vivacity and application, gentleness and magnanimity:” to these he adds “an invincible love of truth, and consequently of probity and justice. Such a soul,” continues he, “will be little inclined to sensual pleasures, and consequently temperate; a stranger to illiberality and avarice; being accustomed to the most extensive views of things, and sublimest contemplations, it will contract an habitual greatness, will look down with a kind of disregard on human life, and on death, consequently, will possess the truest fortitude. Such,” says he, “is the mind born to govern the rest of mankind.”

My back is still not getting better and causing me quite a bit of anxiety. Possible causes: a muscle pulled during an awkward movement; arthritis; degeneration of the lower spine, common in older women; colon or bone cancer; a virus. My legs seem to tire easily and I’m usually most comfortable lying on my back or stomach, so I shall persist with rest and gentle exercise. 

I’m off to Zilzie Beach with Toby.

102. Two Days Lost – Journal Entry 8th Sep 1982

Oh, dear! Two days lost. Was it the combination of red wine and oranges the night before that triggered an extremely severe headache and frequent vomiting? Waves of nausea and constant vomiting continued until midday on Monday, accompanied by intense throbbing head and eye pain.

Finally it has eased. I feel weak but need to tackle the jobs that have piled up. First some planning:

Wednesday jobs:  Programming 1B, Cost accounting, type tax papers, write letters to the Rocky Permanent Building Society and Shannon, post letters, clean bedroom, pick beans and prepare one of the family’s favourite dinners, Bavarian meatballs with tomato and bacon sauce and brown rice. Simple and nourishing.

Thursday’s jobs: Programming 1B, Methodology, letters to Mary and Max, prepare a talk, weed the garden, make bangers and mash and cheese tart for dinner.

10th September 1982

I am expecting a call from Mr Carpenter, who lives in Yeppoon, about woodworking courses at TAFE. I also spoke to Ken Sinclair about whether they run a typewriter mechanics course. He patiently explained that although they don’t have a typewriter mechanics course, he would be interested to explore the possibilities. He wanted to talk for quite a while.  From our conversation, I gathered that adult education courses are not going well, in fact he is quite short of ideas. I have thought for some time that there should be adult education in Emu Park and so has Edral Damrow. However, do others feel the same, and if so, what sorts of skills or knowledge would they want to acquire or access? 

Nancy Balsys has taught Batik in Emu Park and she intends to ask her friends what interests them, what they are doing and why, and what they think should happen. Nancy’s husband Ron offered to look after their children so she could attend an activity one night a week. She found a yoga class which she could attend casually; other courses went too long and expected regular attendance and commitment.

I would like to identify local snakes and spiders; being able to discern which are poisonous would mean I could avoid killing them unnecessarily in the garden and chook pens. I also want to learn how to service my typewriter, and would like to see discussion groups form for these types of skills training.

A tentative plan would be to ask Edral to organise a meeting of a few women to look at community learning groups. Possibly a Citizen’s Advisory Bureau? I need to find out what is going on in Emu Park, now and in the past five years. There may be resources that could be tapped from the local school. I wonder if the Progress Association might be interested to organise courses or to back a community newsletter?

14th September 1982

Today, after the breakfast dishes, I must attend to Johnny’s desk and clean the study. I still have the problem of white ants. Library books must be returned, bills paid and prezzie buying organised through Johnny. I will telephone Mr Carpenter on 391830 about woodworking courses and finish off the letter to Mary and Maxy.

Dinner was delicious: veal chops marinated in lemon juice with a drizzle of Marsala, accompanied by the delightful Sauce Messine, potatoes in a box, lettuce salad and carrots. Pudding of fresh mulberries in sugar, ice cream and cream was thoroughly enjoyed by all, as it usually is. With satisfyingly full bellies, everyone went off to different parts of the house.

I was guest speaker at the CWA annual general meeting and had to speak for fifteen minutes on litter. I could think of nothing more dull than litter, especially at an AGM! After a brief introduction, I used the search technique and elicited answers from those at the meeting using two questions: What do you think is the litter problem, and, what should be done about it? A lively discussion followed and one member told me she was highly amused at the way I had everyone contributing their ideas instead of coming up with the information myself. Another representative of the RSL and Rifle Club was pleasantly surprised. On his way to the meeting he had been wondering how the topic could possibly be interesting he told me. He even contributing some clever ideas of his own!

101. Dear Mary – Journal Entry 13th Aug 1982

On Thursday I gave the family a meal they least like—liver. Mum, Barbara, Johnny and I like the way I cook it, but the rest of the family are not fond of liver, in any form. Before the new recipe I would fry largish slabs, but now I cook very thin slices and it is delicious and tender. Fortunately, Marcello brings fresh calf liver from work as the liver from the butcher is rarely fresh. 

The recipe is as follows: Finely chop one or two onions and slice the liver into thin strips. In a large pan, fry the onion until tender, then set aside. Add chunks of butter to the pan and when foaming, saute the liver pieces over low heat until just cooked. The slices need to be stirred gently, just until they lose their bloody appearance. Place the liver on the onions and squeeze a little lemon juice over them to taste. Next add some chopped sage to the pan and fry briefly, add a tablespoonful or so of flour, stir well, then add a cup of white wine and whisk. Add more liquid if the sauce is too thick and if you don’t have wine, water with a dash of vinegar would be a fine substitute. Finally, stir in a large handful of chopped parsley or chives and slide in the liver and onions. Add salt to taste and grind in lots of black pepper. Don’t let the liver cook further or it will become too rubbery. Serve with buttered rice and a plain vegetable dish. We usually fry eggs too, especially for those who are not keen on liver. Bacon or sausages can be added for extra flavour but it is the sage which gives this dish a special flavour, although garlic can be substituted.

Anyway, as mentioned, I gave the family liver on my birthday and chocolates much later with coffee. On Saturday Johnny will be cooking a special meal and Karen is coming home for dinner. I asked for paella, which I’m very keen on, banana splits for pudding followed by chocolates and coffee.

14 August 1982

Well, we had our paella meal, although as this one didn’t have many prawns, Johnny added scallops and mushrooms. Tiger prawns, unlike banana prawns, have distinctive stripes and a sweet flavour. Needless to say it was delicious and I ate so much that I couldn’t eat the individual servings of pudding: a whole banana sliced lengthwise with a blob each of vanilla ice cream, chocolate ice cream and whipped cream, and crushed nuts strewed over the lot. Before dinner, Karen and I went for a long walk on the beach. The weather is delightful now but summer will be upon us, before we know it, with frogs in the lavatory bowl and flies in the kitchen! M, R and Z rang for my birthday on Thursday, it was so good to chat with them. Unfortunately, I have to report that mum hasn’t been well: about six weeks ago she had a medical examination and was told that her blood pressure was worse; she then worried about that and of course everything started to deteriorate—she had head pains, belching at night and insomnia. Last week I took her to the clinic to see the GP and I think she will be back to normal in a fortnight. Barbara insists on taking mum to the park on Sundays for a picnic.

Nathaniel is talking quite well now and TJ is beginning to lose the staring, unresponsive look which newborns usually have. I call him “Kumarakut” because he looks so small, round and brown, almost glossy. Monika hopes he won’t lose his brownness the way Nathaniel had, however, I don’t think she needs to worry because TJ is darker than Nathaniel as a baby. I wonder how TJ will like it? I think he can expect a rough time until he grows up and no longer cares. Monika has her hands full when both kids are crying at the same time.

Life is hard work with very little play because Johnny is tied up with extra lecturing, besides all the other tasks he must complete. I’ve taken on four subjects this semester, twice as much as before. Gareth has his studies too, and so we all have to keep going, even on weekends. However, semester ends in November, with a two-week break in September for the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane. Tough times, like good times, must come to an end. Mine is, of course, self-inflicted, and will continue well into next year. Thank you very much for your cheeky card; I pinned it on the noticeboard along with the label from the back of the envelope. 

27th August 1982

It seems our correspondence could easily be concerned with just swapping recipes—thanks for yours! Do you think the sweet mango pickle would last longer if vinegar was substituted for the water? The onions could be cooked longer perhaps or left out?

Your recent visit must have started something because after you left, two long-absent friends came to stay for a while. The first was a Canadian friend who brought his new wife to visit his old stamping grounds. Then last week another friend, whom we met in Manila about ten years ago, came to stay. Carmen is a Filipino married to a Swiss and now lives in Lund, near Geneva. We climbed rocks, raided guava and mango trees, and ate lots of curry with bread and pickles. She loved being photographed with the kangaroos at Cooberrie Park. To our delight, there was a mother koala with her baby for a photo. Carmen’s ten-year-old son wanted to come on the trip; I think he will feel the photos are a poor substitute for the experience. Carmen had spent time with friends and relatives in Manila and then with her parents and sisters living in Brisbane. She was very tired on arrival because on her journey down from Brisbane, the bus driver kept dozing off! Absolutely terrified, she took turns with another passenger to speak to him the whole way.

100. Hot, Greasy, High-Cholesterol Lunch – Journal Entry 9th Aug 1982

Yet another lengthy gap between diary entries. It is still relatively early in the day. I marked the T.V. guide for programmes to watch this week after a leisurely breakfast, then read the papers and skimmed through the Women’s Weekly. 

I have managed to complete the first Calculus assignment. It wasn’t as daunting as expected; formulae and identities must be memorised so I had better get on with it. Household jobs always seem to take longer than expected, and afterwards, I am not in the right frame of mind for study. 

This week I will have a few days at home for completing assignments. Mum said she would cook dinner on Monday, we’ll be in Rocky on Tuesday, Gareth may be out on Friday night and Karen is coming home for dinner on Saturday. Perhaps we can have a family picnic on Sunday. I might cancel the CIAE afternoon meeting on Thursday since I am behind in my studies.

Johnny and I listened to the ZBS’s production of “The Taj Express”, a rather poor programme of Indian short stories. The stories seem to have been chosen more for their adaptability to radio, than anything else. “It mauls the rich and old Indian culture,” says 24 hours. However, the Bach programme was very enjoyable—particularly the definition of musical terms:
Partita is a suite, a form of instrumental music, in some sense the forerunner of the sonata, and used to be four movements, four dances.
Cantata is a sung piece, usually short vocal works, sacred or secular and for single voices or choir with accompanying instrumentals.
Sonata is either a type of composition in three or four movements, usually in sounded form as opposed to sung form. The second type of Cantata is a musical form.
Toccata meaning to touch or to play, usually contains scales, shakes and other brilliant figuration often interspersed with slow chordal passages.

11th Aug 1982

Another morning and I’m alive. We drove to Rocky only to find it was a gross mistake…we were meant to go Tuesday of next week! I had a shocking headache. Whether this was a result of the wasted day or just the effect of the sun and lack of sleep, I don’t know. Perhaps it was because my mind was as clogged as my bowels. I tried to work when we arrived but couldn’t focus. We spent the day rather pleasantly. First, we let Johnny know about the mix-up, then Gareth and I went to the corner cafe and bought a hot, greasy, high-cholesterol lunch of roast chicken, kabana, fish, meatball and chips. After selecting some cans of sugary, fizzy drinks to add to our heart-stopping feast, we hurried to the riverside and sat on the end of the boat ramp. We ate quickly while the food was still warm. 

The broad, muddy Fitzroy river seemed quiet. There were small heaps of black, oily rubbish near where we were sitting; left, no doubt, by the boatmen working nearby on the dilapidated trawlers. These small boats on the river looked quite adventurous despite their untidy appearance.

We returned to the library feeling rather full and sluggish. Gareth fell asleep on a beanbag in the young adult corner and I read a romance called “The Rules of Marriage”, one of the better romances for women.

Last night Carmen Keller rang from Brisbane to say that she is visiting her parents and expects to be in Australia for the next three weeks; she plans to come to Emu Park. How wonderful.  We met her in the Philippines and she had written to us from South Africa, then later from Switzerland where she settled. It has been so long since we saw her.

12th Aug 1982

The family has given me such lovely and thoughtful presents for my birthday. I gave them liver for dinner, which they ate without complaint.

99. The Cinderella Complex – Journal Entry 31st July 1982

Today I have some rather important jobs to complete and missed my morning exercises. Several bills must be paid, so I will need to check the bank balance to ensure we can cover them. I think my Calculus problems will take several hours and Johnny’s clothes do not appear to have ironed themselves. The morning is almost over. I’m pleased that I managed to convince Barbara to hose the garden instead of sitting on the lawn talking to herself.

2/8/82

This week looks fairly clear for catching up on study. Monika needs a lift to Yeppoon Hospital on Friday and the family are looking forward to the Rocky fete on Saturday. We may even have a picnic on Sunday depending on the weather. 

The day unfortunately started with Johnny and I arguing briefly about Henry Miller. In spite of that, I read several interesting articles in the National Times: When the Bad Times Came, a short story written by Fay Weldon about urban families and infidelity; then and a review of a book on women’s dependence on men, The Cinderella Complex by Colette Dowling, which Yvonne Preston described as a flimsy, superficial study of women, containing half-truths. She pointed out it did not mention that men also wanted to leave the world of work and be dependent on someone and that few women are capable of supporting a man. “We badly need a book which starts, not from the readily assumed premise of female weaknesses, but from questioning the readily assumed strength of the male of the species,” she said.

Another article of interest was of women, and no doubt men, advertising for other interesting people as a means of widening their social circle. Pickups at a bar were deemed unsatisfactory. A group of women advertised and set up lunch meetings instead. It turned out to be highly successful. 

3/8/82

My mind is a jumble of thoughts, possibly brought on by Orwell’s Burmese Days. I read half of it and then read the ending. After that I reread the passage in The Road to Wigan Pier, where Orwell describes his upbringing in a shabby-genteel family and makes accurate observations on class distinction and class hatred; very applicable here to the Aboriginal/non-Aboriginal conflict I think. 

Today is another clear day for study. Barbara is still at home and getting worse; we have had to increase the tranquilliser dosage. Johnny is at an evening meeting of the CQ computer users society and I need to pop out to pick up some kerosene.

Letter to Max

Mum was so happy to receive your letter and especially pleased that L liked the bicycle parts she sent for him. Maybe he could write her a few lines if he has not already done so? Attached to this letter are photocopies; it is all I could find in the library on flush doors and I hope it is of some use to you.

We are picking up two second-hand books this week on building construction. I am told that although they do not have much on flush doors, they are useful books to own, so I hope you will find them interesting and informative. There are very few books available on woodworking machines it seems, but we will go ahead with another advert in the Saturday paper to see what we get and will be posting William Watson Sharp’s book, Australian Methods of Building Construction. It is now out of print so quite a challenge to find this copy. Your job could definitely improve your woodworking skills.

About the home problem… you seem to be doing the right thing especially as A is dependent on you. She is the children’s mother and the three of you are responsible for her, no?

Talking to Mary from time to time should help, but don’t forget Mary and Cliff may leave in a few years, so enjoy their company while you can. Mary had said she would like to help the kids with their homework. Impress upon the children the importance of a good education.

You should keep healthy and cheerful now you are in charge. Please do not hesitate to let us know your troubles. Mum will help if she can. Writing to us will help you clarify your problems.

Thanks for inviting mum; she has read and re-read your letter so many times! She thinks about writing but when it comes to putting pen to paper, she cannot think of what to say; perhaps because I usually do the letter writing for her.

98. Sad Farewell – Journal Entry 23rd July 1982

Early this morning I made Danish pastries for Karen, decorating them with P, C and D in pastry to correspond with her last semester results. Johnny delayed his departure for work until they were cool enough to pack. I brought coffee and warm pastries to the study for breakfast with Johnny; we had a little longer than usual to talk. Among other topics, we discussed the meaning of “polemic”, a word one knew vaguely but not specifically. Even Johnny had a different idea of its meaning. It turned out to be a controversial view or argument of someone’s principles or opinions stated aggressively; either verbally or in writing.

24/7/82

It was a very busy week full of people and cooking. Farewells are sad. I must not feel sad. We were privileged to have known Rolf for such a long time—almost seven years. Must not panic. Sadness and panic are a terrible combination.

25/7/82

Last night was an excellent dinner. The family sat and talked longer than usual; no one seemed in a hurry to leave the table so we indulged in our favourite quizzes. Gran arrived too late to attend her usual church service so now I am waiting in the car, writing in my diary and watching other cars arrive for the next service which will be in an hour and a half.

28/7/82

Yesterday was Gareth’s day in Rocky, the first stop being a long overdue visit to the orthodontist where we were told he would need both top and bottom braces and the removal of two top teeth to make room. We then went shopping to buy him some much-needed clothes and shoes. Monika and bubbies came with us to Rockhampton. Gareth very kindly returned to Monika to give her the small amount of money she needed to make some purchases at Vinnies. 

I dashed off to get through my list of jobs, however, I was disappointed to be refused repayment on Karen’s eye examination at Medibank and only received  0.25% off the orthodontic examination fee for Gareth. 

At the bookshop, things turned around somewhat as a customer overheard me asking the lady at the counter if she had any books on how to make flush doors and general books on woodworking machines. The customer asked if he could help me, having been a manual arts teacher in Darwin, and recommended a list of books and references: Australian Methods of Building Construction by Watson and Sharp, Building Construction by C. Lloyd, Notes on the Science of Building: Experimental Building Station, North Ryde, Sydney, and finally Carpentry and Joinery by Department of Labour and National Service. I made the list of the suggested books, thanked him warmly for his help and bought myself Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts by Maxine Hong Kingston.

Jobs list complete, I went to the pie shop to buy lunch and cold soft drinks for the family. They had been patiently waiting in the library and quickly followed me out.  Nathaniel insisted on carrying the coke to our picnic spot under the sprawling Moreton Bay fig tree at the edge of Rocky Town Hall grounds. We enjoyed lunch and mainly talked about our purchases. Monika had found a skirt just like Karen’s and Gareth and I were pleased with his new clothes.

30/7/82

Managed some yoga yesterday but neglected my diary writing. I didn’t exercise at all due to a headache accompanying a period.

Barbara is at home today and on Mellaril, so it is important to keep her busy. She will drive us all to distraction by sitting and talking to herself.

Trying out a new creamy lemon and mustard sauce for the fish which I will crumb and fry for dinner tonight, accompanied by brown rice, carrots and lettuce from the garden. Pudding will be one of Johnny’s favourites: baked apples and custard. 

Tomorrow I have committed myself to Programming after I finish my Calculus review and Cost Accounting assignment. It is time to focus on study.